By Erik DeLapp
The Science of Teenage Love
“Oh, to be young and to feel love’s keen sting.”
How impolite to cry “broken heart!”
when paranasal sinuses excrete
mucus, and tears swell and drip
from your lacrimal apparatus
if it’s not stress-induced cardiomyopathy,
“Broken Heart Syndrome,”
although your misdiagnosis is forgiven
because people like you,
with neurotransmitter malfunctions
or serotonin imbalance (that is to say,
“sad people”), have been found to be less accurate
than happy people during personal evaluations.
The best prescription is preemptive transfiguration.
Put down a Paxil, Novocain in your brain
and other parts which might aid
the physical act of love. Doctor’s orders:
masturbation (twice a day); Grey’s Anatomy
(thrice a day); two pills, one with warm milk,
the other with acai berry concentrate;
and for God’s sake, eat ice cream!
Research proves a teaspoon of cookie dough fudge
will offset a single doleful tear. Dig in, friend!
Soon, you will feel it: Cupid’s arrow, transformed
into an inconspicuous mosquito.
A Broken-Hearted Friend
Last night, my mouse asked me how to escape
the memory of her fur, its smell (oak shavings,
a familiar nest), the tickle of her whiskers,
and of course, that squeaky sense of humor.
When she touched him, his little heart raced
(over six hundred beats per minute), his nose
twitched. Now, both his eyes are infected
(from stress, a common problem with mice).
I told him to also recall her lack of overbite,
the size of her ears (so small), those slender,
bony hips (a good mouse should never be
so picky with cheese). He sighed (or sneezed),
and I lifted him from his cage (he felt so small,
so fragile). He snuggled into my palm and slept.
A breath (lost)
beats like (sleep)
in time (when?)
gone now (just)
I would like (you)
only to (stay)
say goodbye (love)
The Morning after Halloween
I awake in a drunken stupor – in my arms, a witch
disguised as my ex-lover.
Erik DeLapp is an aspiring YA author represented by Pooja Menon of Kimberley Cameron & Associates. His reading/writing interests also include literary and speculative fiction. Check out his blog at www.edelapp.com.