By Ezra Lebovitz
we’re out tonight
telling our parents we can get rides
and stumbling into the strip mall breathless
and still singing like the ringing in
our ears is only harmony so
we dance through doors that move
around us and talk with our hands
so loud that middle aged moms glare
and promise that they’ll raise their kids
better but they’re wrong—
we’re as good as it gets and
they can cast us nasty
looks call us vagrants we know
better cause tonight i don’t care
about all the old men trying for
respectability who left behind
their glitter and their bravado and their
bodies long ago and we get to roll our
eyes cause tonight we are
immortal and causing trouble
in a target the way our mothers would
shake heads at but we don’t care
because we’re laughing from deep down
and when we dance
we feel alive and this is what it was
always supposed to
be like and cause
we didn’t think we’d get
this far but fuck em cause we found it:
that bright uncaring future that open mouthed
daydream so tonight we leave out consequence
and all our heaviest ribs
and sing like there will always be
another song but never
one like this.
i boxed with the moon last night
in my defense, heartache.
in my defense, the junebugs—
she punched me out,
light refracting into bruises. she said she
was sorry when she wasn’t. her knuckles were craters
and they smiled back at me.
in my defense, the way that wanting scalds. in my defense,
icarus only died when the sea smothered him. in my defense,
it was never about flying— the sky cleaved from apology.
they don’t tell you that the blood in your mouth is a sunset, biding its time. that when it dries on
your skin, it will taste like swallowing stars
in my defense, i loved her.
in my defense, i wanted more.
in my defense, when i breathed
in last summer, i caught
junebugs in my mouth and grew
wings from the inside out—
i just wanted to test them.
i never wanted to hurt her,
only to see
how far i could go.
Ezra Lebovitz is a New Jersey writer with an affinity for crossword puzzles and stray cats. He is an editorial intern for The Blueshift Journal, and has had work recognized by NJCTE, Scholastic Art and Writing, and Johns Hopkins Imagine. Recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in decomP Magazine, Glass Kite Anthology, Polyphony HS, and Moledro Magazine.